haolehothead | AU PLOT

"You look fine, Danny," Steve murmurs, shooting a glance in the direction of the others' offices. Everyone else seems to be fairly oblivious right now, and he couldn't be more grateful for that, because when he turns back to Danny he's greeted with the sight of him bending over his desk, looking right at the way that skirt does everything to flatter his ass, and he swallows, then quickly clears his throat, moving around to the other side of the desk. "No more looks."

Danny gives a small noise as he searches through the files, head bowed down and top half of his body fully leaning over the desk as he idly twirls one ankle against the floor, trying to relieve pressure off the bad knee. "Hey, babe, where's that one that has the arrest record of that woman we brought in the other week, the one who pulled tarot on the side. I'm thinking, I'm thinking I got island-cursed for not respecting your ways or something."

"Um - " He's not looking, is actively not looking at Danny's ass or anything attached to it. Never mind the fact that a certain angle has him glancing right down Danny's blouse, and he can't afford to get into what those stockings are doing to him. "Here, I got it," he mutters, and steps past the edge of the desk to fish it out of a pile.

Danny sets his elbows on the desk and just narrows his eyes at Steve, thinking that if Steve is enjoying this, there are other possibilities and now Danny's gotta go think about those crazy things, too. "You didn't meet anyone new and weird lately? No wishes on stars? Nothing like that?" Normally Danny would rule it out as insane, but currently, Danny has got tits. Nothing is too outside the realm of possibility.

"Wishes on - where do you come up with this stuff?" Steve asks, shaking his head, and at least that distracts him from staring too obviously as he sits back in his chair, leaning forward and resting his arms on the desk. "No, I did not make a wish on anything remotely powerful, or anger a local medicine man, or anything along those lines."

"Well, see," Danny says, picking up the file and perching on the corner of the desk that's closest to Steve. "Normally, I would agree and say that yes, Steve, you're right, that's crazy, but have you looked at me?" he asks heatedly. "I mean, come on. Something happened cuz I didn't do this to myself. I got a kid and we got a puppy. I'm happy with that!"

"Well, if something happened, and I don't doubt you when you say that it did, we'll just have to look into it," Steve promises, nodding slowly. "And I'll do whatever I can to fix it."

"What, you think I've been hiding this from you?" Danny asks warily, stripping off the suit jacket and laying it on the back of Steve's chair, bundling up the hair and tying it up in a messy bun. "I mean, cuz, Steve, we've been together a year and we're, you know, that married thing. I think you'd have noticed this."

Though that is a terrifying though, mostly being -- what happens if Danny suddenly becomes the only person who realizes something is fucking wrong.

"Of course not, Danny," Steve says, glancing up at him, shaking his head. "We'll figure it out, okay? We always do."

He reaches out to take a smaller hand in his own, thumb smoothing over the knuckles, and lifts it to his lips to press a brief kiss there.

"You have my word on that."

Danny just wanders closer, like he's lost and Steve kissing him like that is a call to just get tight as he can. He wraps his arms snugly around Steve's waist and just presses his cheek to Steve's chest, hating this feeling of being so helpless. "I called Rachel at the store. So, she knows. Grace knows, too," he says quietly. "She uh, she had clothing advice, so anything I wear you can blame on my ex-wife."

Steve tugs him down into his lap in the desk chair, sliding both arms around the slender waist and allowing Danny to rest his head against his chest, his hand smoothing down his back, fingers slipping along the silk of the blouse in a soft whisper of fabric. "I'll be sure to do that," he replies, kissing the top of Danny's head.

Danny lets out a soft sigh and adjusts, swinging his legs over Steve's and snaking his fingers into the fabric of Steve's shirt. He's just beginning to get comfortable, which is of course why that's when Chin decides to come in with a knock. "Hey boss, I got something on the..."

Motherfuck. And Danny was starting to feel a little better, even.

Steve's head snaps up and he immediately realizes how this looks, a hot blonde woman tangled up in his lap - in his desk chair at work, no less, and he and Danny are pretty much married now, but there's no way that Chin could know that Danny and this woman are the same.

"Uh, this isn't what it - " he starts, standing up and helping Danny to his feet.

Danny gets up in a hurry, wobbling slightly on his feet and trying to get steady. And because the universe hates him, Kono decides to check in on the commotion and just gapes. "Steve," Kono says evenly. "Where's Danny? Does he know about this?" And christ, but she sounds really cross.

"Oh jesus wept," Danny mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Not that anyone's gonna believe me, but I am Danny Williams."

The looks on Chin and Kono's faces would be hilarious if the situation wasn't all about backpedaling. Steve overhears Kono mutter something under her breath, and he can gather by the tone that she's just about ready to call them on their bullshit.

"It's true," he adds, pointing a thumb in Danny's direction. "It's really him."

"Yeah, real helpful, Steven," Danny bites out in incredulity at how Steve is amazing in tense situations, really incredible, and then he chokes and can only come up with 'it's really him'. Danny holds up his left hand, wiggling the fingers. "Okay, look. Ring. Steve's ring that he slipped on me in the middle of the night thinking he's some kind of goddamn ninja. I have one daughter, and Kono, you keep trying to teach me to surf, but doing it right before tsunamis? That's just cold."

Chin looks like he's getting halfway to believing, but Kono seems doubtful, yet.

"Oh for..."

Danny starts to strip. Which isn't the intention, but in order to show the scar from the bullet wound when he first met Steve, he needs to get the shirt loose and he undoes the top four buttons, shoving aside bra strap and shirt to show off the scar.

Which manages to get Kono on board.

"You couldn't wait the day to go home?" now Kono is joking, bemusedly, glancing Steve's way. "If I knew office sex was a thing, I'd be bringing in boyfriends."

"Cuz," Chin warns.

"You saw them," Kono protests. "Hey Danny," she goes on with a smirk. "How tall are you now?"

"Fuck everyone," Danny announces, shaking his head as he runs his thumb up the buttons to track which one he needs to do back up again. "So much."

Steve starts to get a little cautious when Danny starts to unbutton the blouse, holding out a hand and starting to assure him that maybe this isn't the best way to go about proving anything unless he wants to make everyone uncomfortable, and then it dawns on him, and Chin and Kono too, by the looks of things, and Kono is back to smirking and Chin still looks a little bewildered by the entire proceedings and Danny's pout looks even more adorable when a fuller pair of lips and Steve just grins, leaning back against his desk and crossing his arms.

"Now we've just got to find out how this happened to begin with. Danny's thinking some kind of casting, maybe he pissed off a person of power."

"Big surprise," Kono interjects, before clamming up immediately when Steve shoots her a look.

"Chin, you think you can dig up anything on some of our more recent cases? See if anyone fits the profile of being more likely to carry a kind of grudge that ends in, well - " He nods to Danny.

"On it," Chin replies, and promptly disappears. Steve figures he's probably grateful for the excuse to leave the room at this point.

Danny just glances sideways at Kono. "Can you brief my witness? I was supposed to do it for a case, but I have the feeling it's just not gonna go over so well if suddenly Danny Williams has a twin sister with a matching personality." He begs with his hands and eventually Kono relents.

Danny juts a thumb out, picking up the Camaro keys and letting the hair loose. "Me? Me, I'm gonna go beat up some perps and feel better about myself."

"You're gonna - " Steve starts, about to echo Danny's words when he feels the grin coming on, faster than he can even attempt to cover it up. Kono shakes her head and makes her exit - probably to avoid the crossfire, Steve realizes.

"And, um, how are you going to do that, babe, exactly?"

Steve is dangerously close to getting beat up himself. Danny clenches the keys in his hand tightly, a murderous look on his face. "Say that again," he challenges. Danny drops the keys on the desk and hovers precariously close to Steve, snaking a hand down into his pants and cupping his balls, threatening to squeeze, just hard enough to hurt. "How am I gonna beat down a perp? How about you tell me, Steve, with my hand there, you tell me. Huh? I gotta get some of this, this rage out."

Steve starts to move but Danny's already there, somehow crowding into his space with those impressive high heels on, slender wrist turning to slip a smaller, softer hand down the front of his pants, and his hips jerk as he grits his teeth, hissing quietly. "You sure it's rage you're trying to get out, Danno?"

Danny's just angry right now, angry at the implication that some more sex is gonna solve this, so he withdraws his hand and because he loves Steve, he does, because he loves him and his face, Danny punches for the gut using all his weight behind him, aware that Navy-Boy can take it.

It's a smaller fist but it packs almost as much punch, and Steve half-doubles, catching Danny's arm in his wrist as he recoils and spinning him around, pinning his arm behind his back and slinging his own arm across Danny's shoulders, breathing ragged against his ear. "I'm not mad only because I know you didn't mean it."

Danny curses and bends half-over, the pain radiating through his arm -- just like old times -- and he stomps on Steve's toe with a heel while muttering a, "Fuck you, McGarrett, and lemme go beat up a suspect instead of my husband, okay?"

Steve winces, and silently thanks the powers that be for steel-toed combat boots, but he still kisses the top of Danny's head just the same. "Go to the gym and pound on one of the punching bags, okay? Nothing that can hit back."

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