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There's a couple of nice things that Danny appreciates about the world suddenly turning to desert and dust. For one, he gets to sleep without the sound of waves keeping him until the early hours of the morning. Plus, he gets to wear some amazing clothes and he's got a gun on him. He's just grateful to be practicing his accuracy once more, seeing as it's been a while and he'd started to get worried.

As it stands, he's working on putting together dinner for when Steve gets home -- just a simple vegetable stew and some beef that he's picked up from the Compound since there is no way in hell that he's looking a gift cow in the mouth, so to speak. With the heat rising from his small stove, he inches towards the door, kicking it open to let some of the steam out, giving Zulu a warning look as he pokes a wooden spoon in the dog's direction. "You even think about running and I'm letting Steve take you for a five-miler."

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I probably shouldn't have come to him. After what happened, maybe I should've found somebody else, but of everyone I know, I think maybe I'll trust Danny's advice about this kind of shit more than anybody else's.

So, I find myself knocking, giving him a sheepish smile when he opens the door. "Hey."

Danny turns, beaming even brighter than before when he sees that it's Neil making the steps creak. He's grateful to see any of his friends, sure, but apart from the whole birthday-thing, Neil's his best friend (bar Rachel and Steve, but they're different to him). "Hey, babe," Danny greets easily, gesturing for him to sit down at the table. "Hope you're hungry. You can be my guinea pig. Your girls won't mind if I food poison you just a little, right?"

Huffing out a laugh, I shut the door behind me, moving to sit down at the table like I'm told.

"Even if I say I'm not hungry, you're gonna make me eat anyway, aren't you?"

Danny shoots Neil a look that says that he knows better, so why the hell is he asking. He adds a little pepper to the stew, mixes in some more breadcrumbs, ladelling it out into a bowl that he puts on the table before Neil, leaning over his shoulder to do it. "You're so skinny," he says, doing his best impression of his grandmother. "All skin and bones."

"Oh my god, shut up," I say, laughing hoarsely, tipping my head back to look at him with a crooked grin.

Possible food poisoning aside, the soup smells kind of amazing, and I reach for the spoon he's laid out, leaning over the bowl to take a bite. "'s good," I say, around my second mouthful.

"I'm proud to say that in my entire life, I have never and will never shut up," Danny says smugly, sprawling on the nearby chair and poking at some of the food. It's not that he wants to start without Steve, but screw it. He's hungry. Some things just have to happen. "So, to what do I owe the privilege of your company?" he asks, poking in Neil's direction with his spoon.

"I dunno, man. I needed a fuckin' adult, and you're the closest I could find, who isn't like... Kara or Dean, 'cause all they're gonna do is yell at me," I admit, the heels of my boots thumping against the legs of my chair.

"This sounds suspiciously like something that I might yell at you about," Danny says warily, wanting to give fair warning that he's not about to be completely objective. He's Danny Williams, after all. "You remember the part where I'm a hothead who occasionally has troubles keeping my opinions to myself, yes?"

"I didn't do anything, Jesus. Tunny just asked me to quit fucking other people and I said I would," I say, rolling my eyes at him, not wanting to go into the fact that he scares me a lot less than Kara or Dean. I don't wanna hurt his feelings.

"So, I guess we're like... seeing each other. Officially, or whatever."

For a minute there, Neil had Danny kind of scared that this would be a different kind of talk all-together. Something more serious than monogamy, which is practically breathing to him. "Okay," he says slowly, processing the news. When he can't see what's so wrong with it, he shakes his head. "This your first monogamous relationship since your marriage?" he asks, when he suspects he's getting close to the real issue.

"Yeah," I murmur, pushing my bowl aside and propping my chin in one hand. "I mean, I kinda... went nuts the last couple weeks. With you and Steve-- which he still doesn't know about, by the way, and then Dave and me kind of..." I trail off, offering him a wince of a smile. "But Tunny freaked out. I mean, I knew he didn't like it, me fucking other people, but I didn't really let myself think about that I was hurting him."

"You and me and Steve is our business," Danny says, wanting to get that out in the open. He's not ashamed of it, but he likes to think that there are things that belong to him and him alone. True, they're few and far between (and he's pretty sure if his sisters ever showed up, he wouldn't be able to keep anything from them), but he likes to have them. "I did hear about you and Dave, though," he adds, sipping at the stew's broth so he doesn't say something completely horrible.

"Look, Neil. You're both adults, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to ask you a question," he says, gesturing in Neil's direction like he's some kind of game-show host, "and you're going to answer it honestly. You don't want to hurt him and that's good, it is, it's real good. Question is, do you want to just be with him and only him or is it because if you're not, it hurts him and you'd feel guilty?"

"I want it. I don't wanna be that person anymore, you know? I mean, no offense. It was fun with you and Steve and all, but... I spent a long time trying not to do dumb shit like that. And it's not like I'm just... settling, for him. I really... I care about him. A lot. I like being with him," I admit, looking down at the dregs of soup in my bowl, just for an excuse not to look at his face. "I just... I can't shake this feeling that I'm already in a relationship. It's been over a year since Mike, and like, nine months since Tom vanished, and I still feel like I'm married. I can't shake it."

"When Rachel left me, I spent over six months in denial," Danny says after he spends a very long pause, feeling awkward and unsure how much of this he wants to share. "I was kicked out of my home, not allowed to see my daughter, and living out of a motel. My brother would bring a six-pack and we would drink it and he'd try and cheer me up, but I never really got over the fact that I was actually divorced until she moved on," he says. "When she married Stan, that was it. It was over, but I didn't think of it that way. When you love people," Danny says, staring at the bottom of the bowl, "Hell, even when you hate them, it's hard to let go. Eventually, it's healthy to move on. Eventually, you have to move on," he says. "I'm happier for it. I think, when the hurting finally stops, you will be too."

"I liked Tunny, incidentally," he adds. "From the little we talked at the wedding."

"I can't let it go, though. I... I feel like they're waiting for me, somewhere. I mean, Mike believed that. That we'd all be together again, after we leave this place. And I guess that's crazy, but I kind of believe it, too. So, it feels kind of like a lie, being with somebody else, but I can't just... not live my life, when I don't even know how long I'm gonna have to wait," I admit, feeling a twist of guilt in my gut.

"He's... he's kind of great. I mean, he's fucked up, too. About his leg, mostly. It's bad, right now. The fuckin' island's changed his prosthetic into this awful wooden leg. He was all bruised up and bloody, yesterday, from walkin' on it."

"Best advice I can give you about the thing, the 'together again' thing," Danny says, waving the spoon in slow circles in the air, "is that you should be honest with Tunny. You should tell him that you still love them, that you still feel like that. Communication works both ways, babe, so do relationships. Give and take," he emphasizes, "I hear that helps."

"Have you talked to whats-his-face, our resident tech-genius?" Danny suggests. "I mean, maybe the island's changed things, but it doesn't mean we have to live with what we're handed. What kind of society would we be, then?"

"I have. I mean, we talked about it yesterday. He seemed okay. Like he understood, you know? Or at least as much as he can."

It's still not something that I can completely put into words, and probably not something he'll ever fully get, but we're working on it, and that's what matters.

"Stark? Thought about it. Dunno what kinda materials he'd be able to find, 'round here, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask."

"Horses get horseshoes, so why can't we figure out a leg for him?" Danny points out. He's got his own crap to worry about, true, but he's a sucker for helping out a friend. At least, so long as it doesn't push him too far out of his own comfort zones. "So, I guess this is a kind of congratulations, huh?" Danny muses as he gets up to grab some water. "You want to arrange a double-date?" he jokes.

"Dude, horseshoes are little pieces of metal that get nailed to the bottom of their feet. That's not any better than what he's got now," I point out with a snort of laughter.

"Yeah, I'll invite you both over for dinner. Let's just fill the whole fuckin' house of with guys I've fucked." I give him a look.

Danny's always shouted or gotten mouthy when he doesn't really care. Hell, it's practically an exercise for him, but it's when he gets really pissed off and quiet that he's dangerous. Steve knows that by now and Rachel had it well in hand. The fact that Neil's boiling their friendship down to the basest level, to sex? Well, it's the first time Danny regrets what they did.

He pushes his chair back, ignoring the ungodly scraping sound as he crouches to blow out the flames of the stove, sliding a plate on top so it keeps its heat. "There's pie in the oven if you're hungry," he says, back to Neil as he keeps tidying up. It'll pass. Hell, he knows this'll pass, but he'd rather it pass without him saying something stupid.

I can't remember Danny ever getting mad at me. It's weird. I guess I've just been lucky. But I'm not prepared for it, and honestly, I've got no fuckin' clue what it is I've done. Still, there's no mistaking the cold chill that settles over the room.

"Danny, what the hell?"

He counts to about three, thinking about all the consequences he doesn't want to go through if he snaps. So he counts. It is his therapist's will from back home and he actually does it, so she ought to be proud of him. "Just," he says, exhausted from his tone, "just don't do that, okay? Don't. Don't reduce me to a one-night-stand. I'm your friend, okay? You, you are one of my better friends, not just 'that guy I screwed with his husband present'."

"What the hell are you talking about, man? I'm not reducing you to anything. I fucked you and I'm not gonna pretend like I didn't, but I fucking love you, okay? Don't be stupid," I say, stomach wrenching at how broken up he seems. I can tell he's barely keeping control of himself, and I don't really get it, which hurts more than I can really explain.

Edited 2012-04-11 22:31 (UTC)

He's not sure that he's heard Neil say it, before. Danny turns, admittedly confused, and he gives a slightly strangled exhalation. "You know I love you, too," he says, wanting that out there -- firm and honest. "Shit, Neil, I don't do sleeping around. I'm bad at it. Hell, most of the time, I'm bad at dating. I just cannot, cannot, think, not even for a second, of boiling our friendship to...to that, so, yeah, double-date, but I mean that genuinely, not 'all the guys you fucked under one roof'," he echoes. "But your friends, having dinner."

"Sleepin' around's easy for me, man. Dating's the hard part," I admit, picking at a loose thread at the knee of my pants.

"That's just me. I'm... I'm weird about sex, I guess. I mean, I've kind of always been that way. That doesn't mean it's like, all I think there is between us. It doesn't change the way I feel about you."