haolehothead | (no subject)

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Danny's starting to wonder if he'll have any hair left come the end of the month. The fourteenth of January is fast approaching and the snow's still around. Hell, he's starting to think it's never going away and at this rate, he's never going to be able to give Steve the goddamn beach wedding he wants. He's not lying, but he thinks that he might just call the whole thing off if he gets one more sign from a higher power that this isn't meant to be.

As it is, he's hanging around some of the market stalls to look for some fresh food to bring back and add to a healthy heaping of pancakes for Jack. If he's staying the night, Danny wants to have something ready for him in the morning.

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"There's no reason to tell Steve," she insists, twisting the end of her cloth napkin between her fingers. "So I'm going to tell you this because I just want to get it off my chest but I don't want to do anything and under no circumstance are you to go do or say anything about it," she says, fixing him with a look.

"All right, all right," Danny says defensively, lifting his hands up in the air to show that he'll do what she wants. "Again, Steve is not included in anyone," he warns, "but only under duress." Or really good sex, but he doesn't say that part. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," she starts, voice not quite steady and she can feel a humiliated blush start up already. "It's just...that marriage license, you know? From home? It really, really bothers me and it bothers me that I told the world I loved that guy and made it official when that's so fucking wrong and I kept thinking about how I want something in my life to be done the right way and I..." she trails off, staring hard down at the table."

Danny listens.

He listens so carefully that, at first, he thinks it's a total mistake. She can't be saying what he thinks she's saying, but there's very few other places to go with that. "And?" he prods, wanting to hear it in her own words.

"I keep thinking about what it would be like to be official," she murmurs, napkin now a wadded up mess. "Not the wedding part or any of it but just to be a family. Like you're supposed to be. But it could be the hormones for all I fucking know I just know I want it and I needed to tell someone."

"So, basically, you want to get married to prove that a piece of paper from back home has nothing on you and pregnancy is messing with your emotions. This is what I'm getting from what you're saying," Danny clarifies before she does something like smacks him.

That's not right..but it is what she said, more or less. "Christ," she sighs, scrubbing a hand across her face. "No, I want to get married. I want him to want to want to marry me, okay? I want the whole family thing and I'm super fucking embarrassed about it."

Danny's pretty sure he follows her, but it essentially boils down to something very simple: she wants Raylan to marry her for her. "Babe, have you told him this, yet?" he asks gently. "Cuz, I mean, this is something that you ought to tell him."

"No!" she flails, looking around like Raylan might pop out of the woodwork. "No, God, Danny I don't want him to know. He doesn't want to get married. He's still all screwed up from his first marriage and I'm pregnant with his kid and he'd feel pressured and shit. No, I just wanted to tell you. I mean, it would ruin everything. What's he gonna say, no? Then we're fucked."

"You have to tell him, babe, he's the father of your child, your boyfriend, and he deserves to know if you've changed your opinions about marriage," Danny points out incredulously. "I say this as a once-father myself. You don't want to let this fester while the baby grows up. Trust me."

Rachel knows he's probably right, because Danny is usually right. Apparently he was right about the whole goddamn marriage thing to begin with.

"Not till after the baby is born," she insists, biting her lip. "I don't want him to feel pressured. I can't be that girl that does that to a guy."

"Okay, but, Rachel, this is big," Danny reminds her with a soft laugh. "And I mean that in a good way. I want you to be loved and I want you to be happy. I'm pretty sure Raylan's your best bet of it, here."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean the same things will make him happy," she says, giving his hand a grateful squeeze.

"All this is more than I could have ever fathomed. It's more than I frankly deserve. But I just needed to tell you. Because it's you."

"Because I'm me, huh?" Danny echoes, but there's a delighted grin on his face as he pours the tea for them -- decaf, since he doesn't want to give the baby a speedy growth. "Who would've thought when I dispatched you to sneak on Steve for me that we were starting a friendship this deep?"

"The Jersey cop and the stripper," she snorts, kicking lightly at his leg. "Yeah, you're pretty much stuck with me, now. I kind of like you. Plus, I'm impressed I haven't heard even one I told you so, yet."

"This is serious," Danny says with a shrug, a genuinely warm smile on his face, inching his chair closer to her in order to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'll give you an 'I-told-you-so' closer to the date," he teases. "But, hey, I'm glad it worked out between us. And I'm glad you helped me get with Steve."

"Yeah, well you were way too sad," she says, snuggling up against his side. "Plus, I've never seen so much obviousness between two people, before. Oh, and let me point out that I said marriage. Not wedding. I still don't want a wedding."

"I was not too sad, I was missing my daughter and surrounded by too-gorgeous people," Danny complains, choosing not to talk about whether Steve and him were obvious. "And fine, marriage, no wedding. You gonna let Steve do it for you?"

"There's not gonna be a marriage, Danny," she says with a shrug, not even really wanting to let herself hope. "But yeah, if there was, I'd want Steve to do it and I'd want you to be next to me."

"Just please don't make me be a maid of honor," he begs, hands together in a desperate clasp. "I'll do whatever you want. Just no dresses. And I get to babysit your kid even more if you get married, so you two can go out on married people dates. Steve and I just need married-people stay-ins."

"I'm not promising you shit," she scoffs, laying his hand on her rapidly growing belly. It's finally gotten to the point where it's too big to see her feet easily and it's just still so strange. "By the time you get married I'm going to be the size of a house."

"You better promise me whatever you want," Danny scoffs. "I'm gonna be babysitting that kid any time you call, I'm gonna be giving you parental advice, and I'll change the diapers when you can't stand it anymore. You are gonna give me that kid so I can break Steve in."

"Fine," she huffs, pointing a finger at his face. "But if I give birth in the middle of your wedding, don't say I didn't warn you."

She shifts as she gets a lazy kick in the ribs, moving Danny's hand over the spot. "That never gets less weird."

"If you give birth in the middle of my wedding, you're absolved from needing to bring a present," Danny jokes, closing his eyes when he feels the kicking. "God," he exhales with a rueful laugh. "I miss that. It's been nine years since I last felt that, but god, do I miss it."

"Because it's not your bladder he's stepping on," she says softly and not at all unkindly. She knows it's hard for Danny in ways she can't understand. And it means more than she can say that he takes this so well.

"It is pretty crazy. Hey, you know what it means to me that you're being so sweet about all this, right?"