haolehothead | (no subject)

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Danny's begun to have panic attacks ever since he woke up, was still a woman, and realized what that meant. True, a selfish part of him had been hoping that he'd wake up normal and they wouldn't have to broach the idea of this at all, but no. No, Danny still has tits and a tiny little waist and still barely surpasses five foot and so that means the doctor appointment is today.

He's been sitting up in bed and biting on his nails for the good portion of an hour while Steve sleeps, not able to fall back to it after his wariness over the appointment to come and how much it's going to hut and what it's all going to mean. He feels like shit for it, but a part of him wants to run and hide until he's normal.

Steve will find him, though.

Steve always finds him.

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Steve wakes up at the same early morning hour, almost like clockwork, no matter how tired he is or how little sleep he's had the night before. He stretches and rolls over in bed, reaching out in a half-asleep motion to slide his arm across Danny's body, pulling him in with a soft hum of greeting.

"Mmm, morning," he sighs, breathing in the scent of Danny's skin as his hand notches a grip along his waistline.

Danny's whole body is tense and Steve will probably know by touch alone. He swallows anxiously and moves the nail of his thumb into his lip to gnaw at it some more, leaning down to press a kiss to Steve's hair before extricating himself from the bed. "Bathroom," he mumbles in explanation.

"'Kay." Steve sits up slowly, raking fingers through his hair as he blearily glances around the room. Zulu barges his way in at the sound of them awake, barreling through the door and springing up onto the bed to greet him with a literal tackle, and Steve chuckles as the puppy nuzzles up underneath his chin, rewarding him with a belly rub. "Go see Danno," he encourages, and watches Zulu launch himself off the bed to trot after Danny.

Later, Danny will look back on this and hate himself for being such a melodramatic whiny child, but at the moment, when Danny sees the narrow bathroom window and thinks to himself 'huh', it seems like a great idea. The only problem is that Zulu wanders into the open door and starts whining when Danny is wiggling his hips through the window, sneaking out to go...

Well, he's not sure.

He gets to his old hut and stops there to curl up in the corner and try and quiet the storm of thoughts that are threatening to do him in.

Steve's pulling on a shirt by the time he overhears the sound of Zulu's whine and follows it to where the puppy is sitting in front of the open bathroom window, head cocked in confusion. He sighs, squaring his shoulders, and peers outside, his eyes finding the tracks of footsteps in the sand leading away from the hut.

"C'mon, buddy," he murmurs, nodding for the dog to follow him, stepping into a pair of sandals before they head outside. "Let's go get 'em."

It's ridiculously easy for Danny to crawl into the crashed space of the bathroom in the old hut, arms wrapped around his knees as he sets his chin atop his hands and merely lets himself brew in sulking thoughts. It's not the most mature of things to do, but he can't help it. He just wants to close his eyes and make all the hard stuff go away.

Heading off in that direction, there aren't very many footsteps to follow since the huts east of theirs are almost all empty. It doesn't take him very long to figure out which one Danny would settle for hiding in, and he lets the dog go ahead of him into the ramshackle hut, sniffing his way to Danny with Steve bringing up the rear.

"I didn't think you meant this bathroom," he murmurs, leaning against the splitting wood of the doorframe.

Danny flashes an apologetic smile when Steve finds him, coaxing Zulu into his lap and curling up with the dog fondly, running his fingers through the soft hair. "Okay, so I admit, my impulse at this age is flight instead of fight," he says, hair falling over his shoulders. "But sue me, I'm scared."

"Okay, I won't fault you that," Steve murmurs, watching Zulu nuzzle up against Danny's chest and release a long sigh of relaxation. "But remember when I told you I was going to be right there with you? Still applies."

Danny stares down at the puppy in his arms, overwhelmed by how fond of the damn thing he is and knowing that it's not going to be that much different if they do have a child in the long run. He knows this. He knows this, but he's still so goddamn scared. "I don't want to do it," he says, aware that it's his fear talking.

"Yes, you do," Steve promises, clueing into the real problem right away. He kneels down, reaching out to slide fingers around Danny's wrist in a gentle grip, squeezing once. "You're just scared. To be honest, I am too. This is a big thing for us."

Danny looks up at Steve with a wary look on his face, terrified and looking it. He's only eighteen in frame of mind and all he can do is stare at the man that he's marrying and feel gripped with worry. "Baby, what if it doesn't work out?" And that, that is almost scarier.

Steve sits down and slides along the wall to sit by Danny's side, idly slinging an arm across his shoulders. "We're not going to know if we don't try," he admits. "And the not knowing of whether it could actually work is going to bother me more if we don't do anything about this opportunity while we have it."

Danny curls closer to Steve instantly, allowing Zulu to close the distance as well. Zulu takes to it more immaturely than Danny, leaning up to lazily lick at Steve's chin with slow laps while Danny tightens his grip on the dog and leans into Steve as possessively as he can manage. "You promise you'll stay with me?" he asks so quietly that his voice is barely audible. "You promise you won't divorce me and steal my baby away from me? You won't leave me crushed and heartbroken and useless?"

"Babe," Steve murmurs, chuckling softly, tilting his head in against Danny's as he nudges his cheek along that softer one, keeping them as close together as he can manage, short of actually pulling Danny into his lap. "You've got me," he swears, quiet and fierce. "I know you, Danny. You. And you - you're a forever kind of guy."

Danny gives a huff of a laugh, wishing that he believed that Steve fully meant it, but he has past experience. "Rachel didn't think I was a forever kind of guy," he mutters.

"Let me rephrase that," Steve replies, giving him a look that's not meant to be argued with. "You're my forever kind of guy. Not Rachel's, not anybody else's. Mine."

Danny's busy trying to climb into Steve's lap because that's the imperative in his brain telling him what will feel better. "I'm serious," he says, and he sounds it, now. "Steve, you have no idea how bad things got after my divorce. I'd...I'd fucking just off myself if I had to do it again," he announces dramatically.

"We're not going to talk about that," Steve replies, straightening out his legs to make it easier for Danny to slide in. "Or even think about it. None of what happened before matters. Okay? This, this right here, is what matters. You and me."

Danny fumbles and curls up in Steve's grasp, a palm flush against his hip as he rests his cheek on his shoulder and just stares at the thrumming pulse-point near. "Some of what happened before matters," he reasons. "Grace. My experience with marriage. That stuff."

"I'm not trying to belittle your experience as a husband, or a father," Steve assures him, gently resting a hand against his head to keep Danny curled up in his lap, his other arm slung low around Danny's waist. "But I don't want you to think that you can't measure up somehow because of the way things happened before."

Danny makes a small face as he presses a small kiss on Steve's neck, considering his words and taking in a deep breath. He buries his fingers in Zulu's fur, smiling tentatively as he starts to come back to some courage and confidence. "I really do need a shower. Especially after I squeezed out the window."

And almost got stuck at the hips.

"C'mon, I need one too," Steve admits, nudging Danny up onto his feet first before he pushes up the wall to follow, brushing his shorts off. "We'll clean up, get dressed, I'll make us some breakfast and that'll still leave us enough time to take a leisurely walk down. Together," he promises, reaching out to hold Danny's hand in his.

Danny won't lie. He's still freaking out slightly and that's just something that's going to be unavoidable, but here Steve is, refusing to let him back down from this. He takes in a deep breath and reaches over to clasp hold of Steve's hand with both of his, whistling for Zulu to follow. "C'mon, baby pup, you come with us."

"Magnus likes dogs, right?" Steve muses out loud, shortly before shaking his head. "Doesn't matter. He can come along anyway, for the extra support."