haolehothead: (gnaw the lip: by ?)
Danny Williams ([personal profile] haolehothead) wrote2012-10-25 07:33 pm
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While he's coming to the realization that he's going to be trapped in the clinic for the foreseeable future, it doesn't mean that he has to be completely useless. He's hauled in all of the IPD files to do with the impending Halloween threat and has a pen and has begun to make notes on level of severity and plans in the event the visions come to fruition. It's a way to keep his mind off of Esther and Steve and everything.

The papers and the sheets start to slip as they have been all day and Danny shifts, struggling in order to yank them up without causing too much stress on the wound. He hisses, loudly, and screws up his eyes, grabbing the sheets with one fist as he rides out the pain.

"Motherfuck," he hisses, but then he's better. He feels better.

Well, as better as he's gonna get these days.
newkindofcop: (scruff.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
It didn't take him a long time to re-emerge once they'd told him what had happened - to Danny, to Esther, to both of them. What's dragging now is how torn he is on whether or not he even deserves to go to the clinic to see Danny. He's kicking himself for not knowing, for not being there to stop her, and now this has happened and Danny is where he is and Steve can't shake the feeling that somehow this is all his fault.

He's been hovering on the other side of the curtain for a couple minutes, trying to work up the nerve to do something, and the sound of papers falling to the floor and a hiss of pain has him reacting unconsciously before his other emotions kick in. He appears, kneeling down in front of Danny's bed to pick up the scattered pages, and then freezes where he is, realizing Danny hasn't recognized him behind closed eyes. He's showered, at least, but he hasn't bothered to shave, the scruff of his beard a clear indication that he's been away from that option lately.

He tries to organize the papers into their files, but they're all mixed up together, and his shoulders hunch slightly as he ducks his head down, too nervous to meet Danny's gaze just yet.
newkindofcop: (turned.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve's shoulders tense, not completely able to accept Danny's apology when he's weighed down by his own guilt over the situation. He doesn't even want to look at Danny, to see him lying there in the hospital bed, the victim of what lies and manipulation have done to get between them.

"No, don't - it's not your fault, Danny. It's mine. I should've been there. I should've been here sooner."
newkindofcop: (scruff.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"I don't - that doesn't change the fact that this was her fault," Steve mutters, still half-crouched, half-kneeling beside Danny's bed. "She knew she couldn't get what she wanted if I was in the picture too, and she knew that - you wanted to look out for her. It's that simple."
newkindofcop: (Default)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
His jaw tenses under Danny's fingertips, a sickening sensation in the pit of his stomach, bile rising up in his throat at the thought that Esther had attempted that once they were alone together. It's difficult to not let his mind linger in those thoughts, and when he finally looks up, he nearly feels like he's been bowled over at the sight of Danny looking pained and helpless.

"Tell me she paid for what she did to you," he utters, voice low.
newkindofcop: (turned.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
"Oh." Steve looks up, his head turning in the direction Danny indicates, and he rises from his crouch in a quick, fluid movement, shifting towards the bedside table in order to grab the pills. His hands are shaking almost too much for him to even open the damn bottle, but he manages, shaking a couple out into his palm and then handing them over with the cup of water that's been sitting there. "Here," he replies, taking a step back to stand in wait, not completely sure what to do with his hands once they're empty.
newkindofcop: (scruff.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
There's something all too unsettling about that news, Steve thinks, hovering at the side of Danny's bed. He wants more closer than that, he wants - visual confirmation that Esther is no longer a threat. He doesn't make a move to step any closer or to sit down. It feels like it would be completely selfish, and he's not sure he deserves to have that right now. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess," he answers, raking at his jaw with a couple fingers.
newkindofcop: (intense.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
"Danny, you didn't know what she was capable of. None of us did," Steve insists, shaking his head slowly. When he thinks about what Esther did, what she had planned to do - what she had ended up doing when her plan had failed - her best hope is bleeding out at this point, because if he finds her alive at any time in the future, there may not be anything that can hold him back.
newkindofcop: (turned.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
His guilt settles like an anchor weighing deep down in the pit of his stomach. He could kill her for what she's done to Danny - what she's done to them. The touch of Danny's fingertips against his own connects to the pang deep in his chest and he exhales shakily, feeling the barriers he'd thrown up around himself beginning to weaken. "Couldn't have lived with myself if anything had happened to you, Danno - anything worse than - than this."
newkindofcop: (turned.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"No, Danny, I should have - I should have come back, I should have just ignored you when you told me to leave," he replies, shaking his head firmly. "It's my fault this happened, that she got you alone with her, that - " He bites back the finish of what he wants to say and looks down, down the length of his own arm to Danny's hand trailing up slowly, warm and proof of life.
newkindofcop: (intense.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"Danny, of course I - it's not even a question of whether or not I forgive you," he promises, fiercely low as he redirects his gaze to Danny's face, looking down at him. "It's whether or not I can forgive myself."
Edited 2012-10-27 21:48 (UTC)
newkindofcop: (scruff.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve opens his mouth to reply and then curbs whatever instinctual remark he had planned on coming out with. "Fine," he says, biting back his original response. "So long as you know that the next time you want to kick me out of the house, I'm not gonna go so easy." It's an attempt at a joke, but it comes off half-gruffly, and he turns his hand up to let his own fingers the bones of Danny's wrist, brushing gently.
newkindofcop: (plaid.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'll hold you to it," Steve says, some of the tension easing a little from his shoulders as he slowly seats himself on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle Danny or crowd him too tightly. "The pills helping?"
newkindofcop: (kiss.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
He exhales deep in the aftermath, a small shudder attaching on at the very end, and glances down at their hands, running his thumb over the ridges of Danny's knuckles. "Okay," he says, looking up again. "Then you just lie back, and let me - " He's the one who moves forward to separate the distance, his mouth closing over Danny's before he even finishes the rest of the sentence.
newkindofcop: (plaid.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-27 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
"It's fine. Just lay back," Steve whispers, coaxing Danny back against the pillows. "Guess I should've known you wouldn't be able to stay completely still." His lips twitch in a subtle smile as he shifts his weight.
newkindofcop: (squint.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-28 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
"I wasn't - I wasn't on top of you, Danny, I was trying to do all the work, movement-wise, so you wouldn't have to strain yourself and tear your stitches - I was being considerate," Steve protests, slipping into the ease of this because this, this is what they can revert back to without any trouble at all.
newkindofcop: (scruff.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-28 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
"What?" Steve looks up at Danny's face, all visible expression of playful defense slipping away in the wake of that question. "Uh, yeah," he agrees, after another beat or two. "Maybe - that'd be a good idea."
newkindofcop: (intense.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-29 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
"Oh. Good," Steve replies, half-absent, mostly looking down at his hand resting on Danny's skin and the length of the wound - the length of the blade that must've plunged in. He swallows visibly. "So it, uh - it didn't go too deep, then?"
newkindofcop: (intense.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-10-30 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
"You wouldn't have forgiven yourself," Steve echoes, before chuckling dry and hollow, shaking his head slowly.

"You don't even understand what I would've done if something - something worse had - "
newkindofcop: (Default)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-11-01 02:18 pm (UTC)(link)
He opens his mouth to immediately counter Danny's suggestion with one of his own - but one look at Danny's face, tired and worn, shuts him up. They don't need to deal with all of this right now.

"Okay," Steve murmurs, nodding agreement, and then leans in to press his lips against Danny's forehead.
newkindofcop: (Default)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-11-09 01:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve nods - half in agreement, half slightly defeated at this point. There's no sense in belaboring the point, and if Danny wants to forget about all of this for a little while, he's going to do what Danny wants.

"And what if there's nothing you could have done?" he asks, posing the question quietly.
newkindofcop: (plaid.)

[personal profile] newkindofcop 2012-11-10 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve looks down at him, a tiny smile, and reaches down to fumble for his hand, the ridges of his knuckles nudging underneath Danny's fingertips.

"What do you think?"